excruciating feeling

“Memory makes me miss him so much, and it is on every level. I am not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that I have never faced rejection and I am making this a challenge for myself. No matter what I am doing, I feel like he is still on my mind. I can be very focused on work but still find myself fixated on thoughts about how he is doing, what can be different, and of course the ever agonizing feeling that he can be with someone else who is making him happy (but not me). I haven't come to terms with why I feel the way I do. I know I deserve better, and I've found someone who wants me in his life as much I want him...”